you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You need a sexual gate keeper
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
