I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
