Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
