i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
