fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
