I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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