i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize