First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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