I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
