Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
