i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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