I wish i was in the wii world.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
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