maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am available for nakedness
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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