She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
