I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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