bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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