we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
