cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
