the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm sobbing to NWA
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
