I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
