how can u be prego again
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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