Tell her she can't have a vagina
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
