she was so not down for the gang bang
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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