You just made me feel so damn special
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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