gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
