I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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