You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
