i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
