Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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