You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
