I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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