I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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