I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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