wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
