i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
