No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
