the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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