Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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