Just cropdusted the office
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
