why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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