If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
