I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
