Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
