i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No subtext here. People are naked.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
