that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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