She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
