Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
40s are totally the cure
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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