I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
