drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
