i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
