Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize