***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
