somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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