my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
