He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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