Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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