3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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