I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
