i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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